My son is 4. Long story short he has been hitting at school both teachers and students. When I asked why he tells me "his mommy told him to ...

Question

My son is 4. Long story short he has been hitting at school both teachers and students. When I asked why he tells me "his mommy told him to do it" "she wants me to be bad". I got this on video. He has come to up to my wife (his step mom) and I and said "my mommy says she wants to kill you with a hammer" and has said numerous other things like this. I have letters from the school saying he hides from anyone on his mom's side when he's picked up. I have medical records with the pediatrician recommending I call children and youth on his mom because he alarmed the doctor. I have a report from a child psychologist confirming everything too. I am in the process of waiting for a petition to be drawn up. What will most likely happen in this situation to my son and his mother?

Answer

Good morning,

My name is Andrea and I have extensive experience in all aspects of Pennsylvania Family Law. I am sorry to hear that your son is experiencing these issues. I am not a child psychologist, but in my experience representing clients in divorce situations where young children were involved, I have found that calling Children and Youth Services and making a child part of "the system" is the worst thing that can be done to a child and I am surprised that the first response the child's pediatrician was to call CYS. A far better and more constructive suggestion would have been for your son's pediatrician to have recommended that you have your son tested by a an experienced child psychologist to determine the source and reason for your son's statements.

You did not say what kind of Petition is being prepared, but I can tell you with a great deal of certainty that if it is a Petition to Modify Custody and take your son away from his mother at this time when he needs to feel secure and have a sense of stability will do him more harm than you can imagine and which will have long term effects on him. As I said, your attention should be focused on finding an experienced child psychologist who can test your son to determine the source and cause of a 4-year old making these statements and treating him for any issues which he might have difficulty verbalizing.

I wish you and your son all the best,

ANDREA G. TILLIS